Can I Just Be?

They say I'm kind,
but I know, I'm not.
I have so many hidden attitude
that I know I can't control.

I don't know myself,
Nor what I'm thinking.
My mind is pure of imagination
that I know it won't be real.

But I hope that one day,
one them become real.
I'm afraid of who I am
and who I want to be.

Up until now,
I really don't know
Why I was born
and where I am responsible.

Can someone give me an answer
to my infinite questions?
Can someone talk to me
so that I can feel at ease?

Can I just be what I imagined?
Me wearing a white robe
Like in those Historical drama
that I've watched.

Can I hold a sword or whip
or even a gun?

Can i just be what I imagined?
Can I just be? Even for just a minute, no a day, no a month.
Can I just be what I imagined, for my whole life?